SAM BATTLE is injured during his tour of duty in the Gulf War. He loses an eye and is near death. His good friend, BRANDON STORM, who is a scientist, injects him with a secret serum that he has been developing that will save his life. The side effects are unknown. Sam returns home. His father has recently passed away. It is a struggle to come home after being in the war. Sam soon learns that the town is being overrun with Neo-Nazis. He teams up with Brandon's sister, Jane, who is a news reporter. Soon, Sam learns of the side effects to Brandon's serum. He has gained super human strength and agility. Brandon is kidnapped by the Neo Nazi's leader, THE NECROMANCER, a blonde Aryan sorceress. He is forced to help raise the cloned body of HEINRICH HIMMLER from the dead. Now, Sam must don the persona of CAPTAIN BATTLE, a crime fighting hero alter-ego that started with Sam's Grandfather, Jonathan Battle in World War II. Sam find's his father's crime fighting suit. Together with Jane they must face the army of Neo Nazis henchmen, and what's worse, the army of living dead soldiers from the Third Reich! They must stop The Necromancer before she succeeds at her ultimate goal of raising the cloned corpse of Adolph Hitler! Nazis, strippers, actors who look like they should be in porn, bargain basement special effects, dodgy costumes and really silly music= Captain Battle<br/><br/>Sam Battle has a had a bit of a hard time in Iraq, he has a horrible injury and his good pal Dr Storm injects him with BS serum. He falls into a coma and goes home to the US of A where he recovers miraculously. Next he learns that Nazis are taking over his town and the shenanigans begin in earnest. Evil skinheads run amok under the command of their buxom MILF commander who minces around in fetish gear barking orders with a voice only slightly less annoying than Kim Kardashian's. Some sort of plot is attempted next! Nazi MILF wants to get her monkey paws on the BS serum and abducts Dr Storm (dun dun DUUUN!) Sam Battle now must discover his family legacy and save the day. <br/><br/>I like to think that this movie has some redeeming features, because I spent a couple of hours of my life on it so I will try to be as merciful as I can. It is fairly funny, if you are in the right sort of mood for watching something with production values which are completely dire. The script is awful, the acting is awful and that can have it's own charm if you happen to be off your face or something. Let's face it nobody wants to watch Schindler's List when they are inebriated, with that in mind it could be a great movie to watch after crawling home from the pub or if you happen to be a stoner. <br/><br/>I gave it 3 out of 10 because it could be funny under the right circumstances and there was at least an attempt at a story. Watch it sober at your own risk though, you have been warned. SFX: -4 Soundtrack: 0 Actors: 2 Camera: 0 (the first scenes already show 50% grass-close-ups) Men's Outfits: 3 Women's Outfits: 6 (tits yay, but srsly porno Nazi queen?) Plot: 3 (They revive Himmler and he has a red face!?! And then they want to revive Hitler) requisites: -2 (plastic guns, Nazis drive Honda Element) ending: N/A (the movie just stops instead of a showdown)<br/><br/>Overall I would say it was a waste of time to watch this piece of crap–- I wouldn't even call it movie because it misses significant characteristics of movies (for example an ending). The best part is the scene in the strip club, which isn't good but still worse than other movies. And why the hell does he have an eye patch? He doesn't even have any superpowers…? Even the normal Nazis beat the crap out of him… yes, those with swastikas-"tattoos" painted on their skin with Edding.
Heavpar replied
344 weeks ago